What do you do when there is dissension between your heart and mind and it is forcing your body to live in two places at once, tearing you in two?
Has your mind ever told you that you should do the responsible thing, risk nothing, and take care of things? And that if you do, you will be secure and safe? If that were true, then why must the responsible thing seem to chain me to monotonous exhaustion? I saw a quote tonight that said:
"Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your head already knows."
Does that apply here?
Has your heart ever told you that a leap of faith is the only way to have no regrets when gray hairs, the smell of old age, and walkers accompany you wherever you go? If that were true, then why does it cause a feeling of immaturity and foolishness to rise in my throat? And fear - let's not forget about that! But shouldn't we fear regrets more? Jim Carrey once said to a room full of graduating students:
"You can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."
Is he right?
I mentioned my dilemma to a friend of mine tonight and he had some interesting words. Here is a summary of what he said:
"I know for me it is the "unknown" that kills me. So having a clear goal can help my brain relax a bit. You could try and set a goal for making a decision. Like, set a goal that six weeks from now you'll make a decision."
So I ring the bell to force my brain and my heart into their corners. For six weeks each can be on the lookout for wisdom, but until that time, they are no longer allowed to meet to battle. No more flip-flopping, no more burnout due to the "no end in sight" reality they create, no more feeling inadequate to make the decision and no more fear that the "wrong one" will win.
To be continued...